Monday, April 16, 2012

Patience, patience

"Patience takes courage. It's not an ideal state of calm. In fact, when we practice patience we will see our agitation far more clearly." -Pema Chodron
sugar, sugar, sugar!
I've always had willpower, but I've been testing myself at another level this month during the Candida cleanse. I don't think people give sugar enough credit - it's powerful, addictive, and incredibly hard to avoid. My cravings for sugar (in any form: cake, bread, wine, pasta, etc) were constant in the beginning and while they've lessened a bit, I still have hours where it's impossible to move my mind anywhere else. I've never had to quit anything addictive before, such as cigarettes, but I feel empathy in a new way for people struggling to quit. This is really hard! The more the yeast struggles to win, the more I recognize the importance of what I'm attempting here. Sugar is amazingly addictive, yet we don't fully respect what it does to both the mind and body (in the same way that we do certain drugs). Well, sugar: you win this round. I have a new respect for your power, though I'm a little tired of being the girl at the party with the restricted diet. So, where does this leave me? Well, I'm left to re-frame my attitude, haul my brain back to the positives, and remain outrageously patient.  
I went back to the doctor today and I'm not out of the woods: the yeast is not gone yet, though my allergies to wheat, corn, dairy, and eggs are indeed gone (could they come back? perhaps yes, if I'm not moderate. Must be careful). The doctor felt like there was something else at work here, and tested for weakness around my other organs. When he reached my liver, he paused and lit up like a light: ah yes, the liver. Sorry I wasn't good to you in college, friend. While I don't drink much anymore, the liver is another main detoxification pathway and can become clogged with toxins. He felt cleansing my liver specifically would greatly help in allowing the yeast to free my system, so that's the next step (no diet changes, just a supplement this time). I go back again in two weeks, where we'll see more improvement (let's hope!) I know the full solution is almost within my grasp, and I just need to keep working at this. Positive changes have already occurred and I need to have faith in my body's ability to heal. I can do this, whether it takes weeks or months. 
If anyone has a story which speaks to the things I'm experiencing currently, please share! One of the best ways I've found to strengthen my willpower is to communicate openly with other people. Have you had to be patient / strong-willed lately? I'd love to hear about it :)

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